Saturday, August 29, 2015

Middle child problems....

Middle child problems

Ian turned 2 a month ago... and I am JUST posting this. Poor kid, already falling to the middle child stereotype. Well, Ian turned 2 two days after Henry was born. Therefore we knew we couldn't have a big party for risks of going into labor/not being able to follow through. So, I knew we would just do his little party at school! Sadly, the day of Ian's party at school was the day my spinal headache returned.... I was in tears in my friends office at her work about how much pain I was in and how I just felt so utterly terrible. Luckily anesthesia came right over and was going to do another blood patch epidural for me right away to help alleviate the pain, again. ( #5 epidural I am on). BUT! I would miss Ian's party at school.... I was crying, from pain and from feeling like I was abandoning my little guy on his birthday. I tried to walk my bum out of there to go to his party, but realized it wasn't going to happen, so Alvie came through with the best Dad award, picked up the cupcakes and filled in for me at the party.  He even said Ian never asked for me (tear**) it breaks my heart. I love all my kids so much I just feel like I want to be there for every exciting or special moment in each of their lives, but I guess with more you just have to realize that the moments that are special, are the ones when you're all together no matter if that's making cookie-brownies and throwing some candles on top at home and calling it a party. It's what we do, we love these munchkins more than anything and I am SO thankful God gave me each special crazy one to melt my heart in a million different ways.

His favorite presents were the mickey mouse fork, spook and bowl... GO figure.. I love 2 year olds.

Pictures are SUCH a breeze...

Hey again! 
Can we please talk about instagram for a second. How everyone (or it seems like) posts the most adorable gorgeous pictures of their children, like daily.... or at least weekly. So I mean, they have to be taking these pictures themselves right???? No one literally has photographers in their home every week.... or maybe they do. Or maybe they have angels for children, or they really respond to bribes. But, we'll just leave it at these pictures were a nightmare. We did it first thing in the morning after breakfast thinking everyone would be nice and happy..  

^^^^ Ian looks happy right???? 

So, kids don't care about the cute pictures you saw on IG or pinterest or honestly ANY picture for that matter. Stella responds to bargaining with time/out and quite frankly Henry is just a saint for letting these two pass him back and forth while I poke and prod. But I HIGHLY doubt I will be trying to take any pictures like this again for a while. I mean between Ian breaking down in fits, Stella getting VERY upset that I made her take her shirt off and the dang cat who wouldn't get the heck out of the pictures, I was exhausted and it was 8 am. But hey! Look how CUTE they are!!!!  I am no photographer, but I tried.... 

Henry is now 1 month old!! 
Depressing and adorable at the same time. I'll just be in my room crying about going back to work... it's sad, so so sad.

Basically I am envious of all those IG Moms. With their 6 beautiful, perfectly dressed children all posing perfectly for their picture, I shouldn't be jealous.... but I am just a wee bit.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Reminiscing over 1 week

 This sweet little babe is already 1 month old! I listen and read almost everyday about other Mom's being super sad about their babies getting bigger, and that it just goes by so fast. Now that I know this is my last baby I have been feeling COMPLETELY the way everyone says. It's honestly depressing watching your baby get larger before your eyes. With Stella and Ian they stayed small for a while, they weren't huge babies and although they ate well, they grew slowly. I now am taking for granted all of that time I had with them because this little chunker is getting big so fast! I just want him to stop growing, keep staring at me and sleeping on my chest forever.  I am sure that tomorrow on his 1 month I will take some photos of him to remember him at 1 month, but for now I am reminiscing over these photos taken on his 1 WEEK! Boy, has he already grown already.....

 These are my favorite kissie lips ever!  He does this pose all the time, I swear it's like he is blowing me kisses.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Welcome Baby Henry, Birth story.

Welcome to the world Henry. 

   We welcomed our newest addition to the family on July 19, 2015 at 12:09 pm. He came quickly and so calmly into our lives that I couldn't believe it was actually real life! With Ian from the time my water broke until he was born was exactly 30 minutes, therefore the anxiety I had with this pregnancy/labor was insane hoping my water wouldn't break in public... at work.. in bed.. in my car, just about anywhere besides the hospital I was afraid would be the place my little baby was going to be born. Enough anxiety to where I walked around with a nasal aspirator, sterile gloves and a shoelace to tie off the cord JUST IN CASE. However, Henry decided he would be nice to us and on Sunday morning as I was making french toast for the family around 0730 I started having contractions. 

    I text my friend Laura about it and she said she would start to get ready in case we wanted her to come by and watch the kids for us. So, as the morning went on I took a shower and tried getting ready thinking the contractions would stop, but they didn't, they just got stronger. 
Luckily Laura had already decided to come to our house and so at that point I was just waiting by the door for her to walk in praying my water wouldn't break. 

   We got to the hospital at about 9:45-10:00 and checked into Triage where I requested to just be checked instead of put on the monitor. I was already at 6cm. The nurse kept asking me what I wanted to do for pain control, or if I wanted to go natural and I really just couldn't make a decision. I wanted to go without meds because I knew I had done it before, however I was being a big baby and the idea of the pain going away was definitely a choice I wanted to have as well. So, ultimately we told the nurse to page anesthesia. Something I wish I could take back now.

   Before you can get an epidural, labs must be taken with a platelet count to make sure that there is no bleeding/clotting risks. Of coarse the corpsman were having fun trying to find my veins to put in an IV and they were taking FOREVER. My contractions were getting worse as I finally was just telling Alvie that I would rather the doctor just come in break my water and we can just have the baby and be done. 

   Right as I was telling Alvie this the CRNA walks in with his team to do my epidural. I figured, well if he is here this fast then I might as well, ( thinking it would be a quick epidural). Sadly however it was not so simple, the CRNA kept telling me to be still and as he was setting up he was talking A LOT. ( Now, I am usually all about chatting but at this point I just wanted it to be done). As he was talking I just kept saying how I felt like I was sitting on the baby's head and that I felt like I was already pretty much dilated). But, of coarse the CRNA was having a tough time with my epidural.  

     My hips are uneven due to all my surgeries therefore causing my spine to not have great alignment and my cervical spaces are small. I hear behind me, " oh that scared me," and then pressure being applied. At the time I felt like he just must have missed and then now he has to do it again, which he did. So, I feel him trying again and another miss. So for the third one I was contemplating saying just go and I'll do this without, but I said a little prayer and sure enough the epidural was in. 

    Once that was done my nurse checked me immediately and just like I presumed, I was 100% and 10cm, ready to go however my water still hadn't broke. SO WEIRD!!! ( Stella's broke super early in labor so I was confused). 
     The doctor came in broke the water and about 15 minutes later we were ready to go. The epidural was feeling good, tame enough to make it not too painful, but not so strong that I couldn't feel anything. Everyone walked into the room completely calm, we could see the beautiful ocean out of our window and the lights were low. I couldn't believe how calm and serene the situation was. The Doctor just asked me, " Just tell me when you're ready to push." So just like that we started and 3 contractions later our perfect little guy came out! 

    They placed him on my chest and he was COMPLETELY silent. I kept asking if he was breathing because it was so strange to not have a screaming baby. But, he smacked me across the face and everyone started cracking up saying how calm he was.  Everything else was just timeless and beautiful. I loved every second of this labor having just my husband there with me to welcome our newest little guy. We had struggled with the names the whole pregnancy but as soon as he came out I knew he was our little Henry. 

Here are some of the pictures of the kids meeting Henry for the first time. 

Sadly, When the CRNA had said, " Oh that scared me," it was because he had accidentally done a "wet tap." Meaning: The epidural needle went through the epidural space into the dura. Therefore causing cerebrospinal fluid to be leaked out. This causes a post-dural puncture headache, also called a Spinal headache. However, it should more be called a bone crushing completely debilitating headache that you cannot function with. So, that happened to me. These pictures with the kids are as the headache started. I was in so much pain, could barely move my neck/shoulders and all I wanted to do was lie down. 

Luckily there is something called an Epidural Blood Patch This is where the anesthesiologist then puts in another epidural and takes blood sterile from your arm at the same time, that blood is then inserted into your spine to hopefully"plug the hole" and alleviate the spinal headache symptoms until the body can reproduce more CSF fluid. The anesthesiologist decided I was a perfect candidate for this, so on Monday morning about 10:30 am ( not 24 hours after birth) I was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for yet another epidural ( now on number 4).  I did finally get a little relief so when the kids had the chance to come back it was MUCH better and I felt like I could ACTUALLY enjoy them. :) 

     Now, I am not posting and telling everyone all about this just to complain ( although I do like to do that) it's more just to show everyone that there are complications associated with epidurals that many do not think about, that there are always risks for adverse effects and so everyone needs to always be open minded and easy going when something goes wrong. This PDPH has a 1:200 chance to happen, so of coarse with my nursing luck I got to be the unlucky one in the hospital to have this happen. 

     I am so grateful for the care I received at the hospital and the diligence the CRNA's and anesthesiologists gave to my condition. I was in terrible pain where all I could do was lie flat for the entire day, forced to have everyone basically do everything for me. I am not accustomed to this, I like being independent and not needing anyone so this experience was extremely humbling, letting others care for me, help me with Henry and with our other children. God has a reason for everything and although I wish I could go back and just skipped the epidural, I think the learning experience was there for me as well as the chance to advance my knowledge in an area I am looking forward to pursuing in my future. 

     Thank you everyone for your time, concern, meals and help in the last two weeks since Henry came into this world. I am so blessed and grateful for the friends we have made here and the giving spirit that is in so many people here. It's hard being away from family but honestly I feel like we truly have a little military family here on this island. 

     Also, I want to say Thank you so much to my amazing husband who has been nothing but wonderful to me through all of this. He truly is such an example of what a father and husband should be and I am so immensely lucky to have such a thoughtful selfless man! 

We are beyond blessed.