Saying Goodbye

" So long my friend, until we meet again. I'll remember you and all the times that we used to. Sit right here on the edge of this pier (tailgate) and watch the sunset disappear. And Drink a Beer." 

Every night before we left the hospital my dad would ask me, my Aunt Jan, Aunt Cathy or Jennifer what we were going to drink for him. Some nights I laughed off the question and others my Aunts would always say they would drink a beer. 

Last night we did that for him. We grabbed our beer and sent my dad back home. 

In true West Texas fashion the wind was just gusting. We could barely keep our eyes open but we all braved the wind. I could imagine my dad saying, " It's okay, we're making Pat money with this wind, so it's okay." 

In all my life I lived in Las Vegas with my Dad. But no where in this world do I feel my Dad than right here in Hereford Texas. When we would come back for holidays I would always remark how I had never seen my Dad smile, laugh or seem as happy as when he was here. I always wished he would have moved home sooner. But, in the end I am just so glad that he did come back before his time was up. He just adored every inch of this place. He would drive me up and down roads, showing me places he or his friends farmed. Houses he lived in, just memories on top of memories. 

Paul, Jan (his brother and sister), Pat (brother-in-law, but pretty much brother), and BillJack (best friend) came with me and the kiddos to spread his ashes. I know he would have been so happy. He was more close to these 5 people who saw him off than anyone else in this world. I was so happy to hear more stories of these two memorable places to my dad. Reasons as to WHY he wanted to go here. Why it was so meaningful. 

The first was The old Easley feed lot, where my dad grew up with his brother Paul and sister Sue. It now is a different feed yard, the house is long gone but one of the old barns still remained. I know he never was a farmer, but I feel like if my dad would have done life over again maybe he wouldn't have left Hereford. But, he would probably say then he wouldn't have me, so he wouldn't change it.

 Man we all loved him so much. 

 Bill Jack wore his Binions Horseshoe hat. He said the first time he went to Las Vegas my Dad gave him that hat.

The second stop was the old Lookingbill farm. This is where his sisters and brother (Jan, Judy, Cathy and Craig) all grew up. He also said he spend a lot of time there with Grandad Lookingbill. He farmed around that area one summer Billjack said. It was a shame to see what has happened to the place. All the gorgeous trees are gone due to no water and the house has just fallen to pieces. But, I am glad that the places my Dad wanted to be are still there. For him to go, and be there forever. I know the wind carried him away that evening as the sun went down. It spread him all over those farms, just like he wanted.

Not sure what my dad would have thought about Stella making his ashes into a fort, kinda weird and gross.. but she knew full well what she was doing. So hey, he loved his Stella Mae. 

I leave Hereford tomorrow morning and it's such a strange/hard/terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like I'm going to forget, or that I'll never be back. I spent a lot of time here growing up, and spent a lot of time here the last year with my Dad. Moments I will cherish forever. I pray I will be back again. I know I will come to see my family, but it will never be the same. Not now. not ever.

Until I see you again Daddy. Love you.

Miss Kate

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Saying Goodbye